do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
