question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
