Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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