i think my tv is drunk
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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