wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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