I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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