it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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