WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
