We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm sobbing to NWA
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
