It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this will be a night to untag.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
