normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
