so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
