I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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