Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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