The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
