At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
