He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize