so let's talk penis.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
