i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I believe in your delicious
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
