He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
