This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need moral support for this bender
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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