At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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