This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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