At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
