A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize