barbara walters just said penis...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
