My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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