And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
