this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
