I never want to see another naked old woman again.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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