Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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