my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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