my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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