Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
