I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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