We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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