so explain again why im purple
no
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
