That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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