Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
