margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
