She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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