you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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