absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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