I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize