Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He better not be in your backpack
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
