youre lurking in front of me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
worst night to have a conscience
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
