If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
