Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
