oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
