where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize