Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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