I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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