called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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