I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
