Acid is not a monday night drug
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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