so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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