would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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