What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
