is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
