whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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