fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
