Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
