You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
